Mid Life Mom

Faith, Hope, and Love. A Confession.

2012-01-13T10:52:00.001-06:00

Today I say goodbye to several friends, my coworkers since 1995. Although it is hard for me to see it, I am trying to get to the point where I can believe it's going to get better for them, all of them. I have faith that it will, and I believe completely that anything I visualize or verbalize releases positive or negative energy that can have an influence on this world.

But the hope part, the being positive enough to ensure that I'm releasing the good energy? I'm really sucking at that right now. Big time. I'm angry, disgusted, selfish, and very, very self-centered in my grief at a good thing, good people, being cast aside in favor of the bottom line. It's very, very hard to get past that.

But I owe it to the people that I have come to love to get that positive karma going. So... I stand here in faith, and am hanging on to any trickle of hope that I can find.

Open Letter to Intellectuals

2011-10-28T10:08:00.004-05:00

Two days ago I had an experience that left me speechless in that it brought out a side of me that I had absolutely no idea existed.

I was accused of placing more value on athletics than academics, specifically in the case of my son. At the time I was very insulted, and later fantasized delivering all sorts of rude and effective retorts to the accusation. In reality I let it slide because I needed something from the person that issued that "insult." Is it possible to have a backhanded insult in the same way you get a backhanded compliment?

Yeah, until that moment I was an "intellectual," one who believed that athletics are simply something to help keep the beer belly away when you hit 40. Beyond the obvious, like learning about teamwork and the benefits of exercise, very little could be said for athletics in creating value for the educational experience.

However, I'm not that way after that day. I'm proud to be a football Mom, and probably a skateboard Mom, and any other sport that my son or daughter chooses to pursue.

Organized sports-football in particular-gave my son an opportunity to be judged not for what his body looked like, but for what his body can do. That he has some control over the athlete that he can be, and that becoming that athlete is not an impossibility. And he has learned that hard work pays off in measurable ways, even when what you're doing at that moment makes no sense. That not just sometimes, but most of the time, you don't have to be an expert when you start-no one is. Academics hasn't, and really can't, give my son the experience he needs to learn that lesson.

So to all you intellectuals out there. My son is gifted, intelligent, and will probably cure cancer one day with a few drunken notes written down on a bar napkin. But more importantly, he plays football.

This and That, Pics for MO

2011-04-11T10:33:00.005-05:00

Well, we've been very busy, spending money on things like foundation repair, drainage systems, gutters, and landscaping. In the process our house looks a little different on the outside. All of the 30-year-old holly bushes are gone (I know it's Lent, but can we hear a Hallelujah?) and are slowly being replaced with other stuff. For starters, it's hard to tell but there are two small azalea bushes underneath the windows. And in between the windows, that's Carolina Jessamine, with wires at ready to train up along the wall. But the coolest thing, what we're kinda proud of, is our concrete paver border/walkway. Made with ready pavers, you can mow over it because they're flush with the ground.

I like the idea, it was a joint project as my original ideas weren't entirely practical.

This is the other side of the house, in front of the large picture window. You can't really see from here, but because of the landscaping and foundation repair, a significant part of our front yard was dug up and redistributed. So several bulbs and perennials are now growing here and there all over the front bed. And I've already planted Coleus and Lantana, so the beds are a bit of a jumbled mess right now.
Ken would love to pull some of it up to establish order again, however I'm enjoying what chaos Mother Nature is bringing to us. It would also appear we have a pumpkin vine:

In the back yard, the most significant difference is the addition of gutters all around the house. However the most obvious difference is the addition of a gazebo. We purchased it at that big orange box store close to our house, and we think we got a deal:

It's going to really change the amount of time we can spend on the patio in the summer, because it will provide shade when the sun is the hottest. We already love it.
Here's my back garden. I thought the sage wouldn't do well so I bought 2 plants... it's the huge mound of green in the front. Anyone want a sage plant? I have an extra. There's some perennial flowers, and Greek oregano, and rosemary, and last year I had more basil than I needed, so this year it's only one plant. I've got to get it in the ground soon. The bush in the back is a Texas Sage. The cactus is an experiment from Dad George and Matt, and it is going to disappear soon - the warranty on humoring them has expired.

Anyway, that's some of the changes around the house. Every day I putter and add something new.

We do the best we can, and sometimes that's worth celebrating.

2010-12-03T07:53:00.004-06:00

I just read the obituary of a man I never knew. It's a quirky habit of mine, reading the obits. What stood out on this one was that this man taught at a white school when segregation was still in effect in southeast Texas.

This part of the country has a history of racism. Not too far away was the site of a very well publicized, horrible act of hate-Jasper TX. But that's not my thought.

Isn't it amazing that smack dab in the middle of hate, there's a seemingly small bit of good? I'm quite sure that no one is going to hear about this one man who in a very small part of town broke racial barriers and just did his job for 34 years.

But one person, making a very small difference for a very long time, in my mind does so much more than the flashy, costly, grand scale "solutions" being lauded by politicians and media.

Why don't we pay attention to the little things? Why can't we give credit for the small, seemingly insignificant steps that happen every day?

In case you were wondering, here's the obit:

http://news.mywebpal.com/news_tool_v2.cfm?show=localnews&pnpID=974&NewsID=991046&CategoryID=20207&on=1

There is a pattern somewhere

2010-10-15T21:16:00.002-05:00

1. You ever have one of those periods of time where something works out exactly as you feel it was meant for you? I just had one of those - my evening soak in the tub, with the tunes set to Shuffle. Shuffling AWESOMENESS is what it was... Jimi Hendrix, Stevie Ray Vaughn (who would have thought Little Wing would play twice in a row?) Then Jimmy McGriff, one on my player but I hadn't heard before (Funky Junk). It just kept getting better... it was meant for me, an entire hour and not a single song where I said "nah, tired of that one." Awesomosity.

2. I have a new great neice. And I can't get down to see her. If it weren't for #1, I'd be mighty blue.

3. GO RANGERS! Sorry Yanks fans. We're due.

4. Looking for some good reading material. Nothing I have to think too hard to read. Any suggestions?

5. My son isn't even 12 yet and he already has girls calling him every day. He says it's just what they do as friends, but I don't see any boys calling him. Not sure what to do about it just yet.

6. GO RANGERS!

Small Miracles

2010-09-18T08:13:00.002-05:00

I should have taken a picture for posterity.

This morning, as I do every morning, I picked up the basket that we use to keep recyclables before taking them to the larger bin outside. As I was doing that, I realized:

"There's a collapsed juice pack case in this recycling. It is empty, and it is not sitting in the middle of the pantry floor."

I said this is a miracle, but it's really not. It's the triumphant culmination of at least six months of targeted, acute nagging.

I am SuperAwesomeMom. I don't need to roar like a lion, just need to be patient like a turtle. Please, join me in my moment of celebration of parental achievement.

How To Be Alone

2010-08-02T05:54:00.000-05:00

I've been away

2010-07-23T18:11:00.005-05:00

But not really. I've been working on a huge project. But I have been thinking about things...

I am changing

I promised Hubs on Valentines Day that I'd grow my hair out. Here's short, the way it has been for several years now. Forgive the sleepy look - it was bright outside.

And here is a pic I took today, the least goofy of them all. I need to practice taking my pic with my phone.

So what do you think? Personally I hate the hair, but I love the attention from Ken.

Work is changing

But not. Now I have a territory, but not really. For a lot of my colleagues, things are very different. But for me, it's pretty much the same. I am blessed, even if occasionally stressed.

Relationships are changing

Our sweet daughter graduated from high school. And is now a college student. And isn't doing too bad a job at keeping it all together. It's cool.

More Body Changes

I've lost over 15 pounds over the last few months. And I continue to lose weight. All by reducing sodium from my diet - a nice side effect of Ken's kidney stone-enforced diet - and by eating only when hungry. Now I need to step it up a bit.

More Relationships

Ken and I are going on a honeymoon. 13 years and we've never had a vacation trip away from the kids. Not sure how that's going to be, but I'm excited about finding out.

We also bought a tandem bicycle. It is an interesting experience not knowing where we are going. But kinda fun. And I don't have to pedal unless I want to.

Off to do something. Just checking in.

Another Why...

2010-05-01T07:49:00.002-05:00

What happens to preteens? Six months ago, we were laughing at how everything was so DRAMA-LADEN, good or bad.

This morning I'd give my right arm for something coming close to a reaction, good or bad.

Sigh. Thank you God that this is the last kid.

High Blood Pressure

2010-04-27T08:33:00.003-05:00

I'm sure by now the national media has picked up on the little boy left by his grandmother in a public park not far from my home. She's been charged with murder, and to my limited knowledge of the law, she should be.

However, I'm not here to pass judgement. As a resident of the same county I do have an opportunity to be her judge, in a jury along with her peers. But for right now, I'm trying hard not to speak words that lead you to believe I have an opinion as to how justice should be served in this case. I know I don't know all the facts, and I'm not sure if I'd know all the facts as a juror. It sure does seem to me that public opinion (and the media) is now in the process of submitting her to a trial, one based on whether a sane person can leave a helpless child out in a park, apparently without watching to see what happens to him.

I can't tell you about this woman. But I think I have to say something that I do know about sanity, and the thin line between normal and abnormal.

When stuff like this happens, stuff that is just so bizarre it defies belief, we all tend to decide that if there are no obvious signs of criminal, Silence of the Lambs type behavior, then the person is sane and deliberately intended to commit murder. While again I want to say that I don't have all the facts, I want to caution that there could be a different scenario.

This is my fictional scenario.

Mental Illness, at least the kind that I know, isn't like an attack of bronchitis. You don't come down with it, take something for it, then get better. It's more like high blood pressure. You live with it, it hangs around without you knowing, sometimes until something like a heart attack or a stroke happens, but most of the time it's just a killer headache that brings to awareness that you need to get some help. Sometimes you don't need medication or any treatment, just a way of getting yourself reset to the normal - exercise, diet, sleep - all of these help us no matter what the chronic health problem.

So....

Sometimes you're a person just going along through life. Maybe your life appears wonderful and blessed like mine, perhaps it appears extremely stressful and isolated like this woman's. Regardless of appearances, through a long series of little things, small occurrences, your internal line between normal and abnormal starts to shift - you're not over the line, but you're heading that way. Perhaps for this woman her shift started when she left her grandson alone for a few minutes, and he didn't die. Then she accidentally forgot him in the other lane of the grocery store, and returned to find someone waiting by the cart for her to return. She might have tried to contact someone for help, but wasn't connected to the right entity, and the person she did speak to was rude and unhelpful. Maybe the catalyst was someone leaving a box load of puppies by the side of the road, and she saw them all get adopted. We don't know how she started over to just the other side of normal, but little by little she went there, and no one noticed because no one was around to catch all these little things, all these baby steps over to the abnormal side. Maybe her husband did suspect something, perhaps that's why he asked her about the boy when he disappeared. Maybe he really shares in her insanity and helped her. I don't know. All I know is it sure does seem to me that several years is plenty time to take baby steps over to "in" side of sanity. Heck, with the right stressors and the perfect "signs," a few weeks or months is long enough. I do know that if my children were forever infants I would be far closer to abnormal than I am.

For me, my signs that I'm heading over to the "in" side are a manic phase of constant chatter, with episodes of rude interruptions into friends' conversation. Some folks think it's charming, especially when accompanied by lots of wine. However for me it's a signal that if I don't pay attention, I'll find myself headed over to the other "dark" side, believing all sorts of really crazy things, resulting in an abnormal self-loathing (don't worry Mom I'll never go that far) that defies comprehension to those who love me.

While my abnormal is no way close to making the decisions this woman made, I sure can see how with a really rocky road, and a really long journey, and the right (or wrong) signs, that path seems like the only one to take.

My Son

2010-04-16T07:19:00.003-05:00

just disappeared from the house for a few minutes. Not enough to panic, but enough to make my heartrate increase. Where was he? Off with his slingshot, trying to hit the rabbit I just saw in our front yard.

His response? "Rabbit is the best food ever, Mom. But not rabbit you buy in the store. It has to be fresh rabbit, with that gamey taste."

Sigh.... One week in East Texas, one taste of fresh game and he has become a country boy in the city. Excuse me while I go hide that slingshot and throw away anything like a projectile. It's only a matter of time before I'm paying for new windows for one of my neighbors.

Random 7

2010-01-17T11:22:00.009-06:00

Pastor Ryan asked me to post my own random 7:
One
It's going to be almost 70 degrees here today - record highs. So soon after record lows. Our earth is definitely trying to tell us something. We just can't agree on what that message is. Wish the experts would hurry up and work together to figure it out.
Two
When I had to take out the garbage last Wednesday morning, I was really grumbling about the fact that my husband always seems to trump me whenever I get a cold. He was still warm and toasty in his bed, albeit with a nasty cough, when I witnessed this gift. Thanks God. I don't guess I'm allowed to hold out on Ken. Coincidentally (or not) we have our own seven story - our anniversary is July 7.

Three
My son is working on a science fair project. I have to work very hard not to help him. So far I'm not succeeding. Our efforts are thwarted by the fact that he'd much rather watch the Cowboys game, and I'd much rather do the science project.
Four
I can't watch a Cowboys game. I'm too afraid to jinx them. It seems that every time I actually care enough to watch, they lose. So I don't care, remain indifferent, in order to help them win.
Five
My husband and I were victims of the holiday buying insanity. For some reason we thought it would be a great idea to buy our dog a pleather jacket. When we opened it and put it on him, we realized we were really dumb. Poor Oreo. I really hate it when I fall for marketing crap like this.

Six
Here's more evidence of what it's like to live in Texas. This is my son's awesome snowman the day of our fairly heavy and extended snow.

And here's the same snowman, less than 12 hours later in the morning light. Poor Frosty never had a chance. He was gone by noon. Oh - and yes, that IS a sweet potato on a stick. Apparently it is a very effective snowman defense weapon. Sure doesn't look like it works very well on SUNSHINE.

Seven

I really like reading Pastor Ryan's blog. He makes me think. And he makes me laugh. And his kids are really, really cute.

A thought on Manila

2010-01-10T20:26:00.003-06:00

This post is a story. It's an ongoing one, and I'm asking you to participate in it.

On 9/11 of 2009 I traveled to the other side of the world. To Manila, The Philippines I went thinking I would teach others about my life, and determined to keep my mind open about learning new cultures and ways of living. In hindsight I was very proud of myself, I had so much to teach these folks about my work and I just knew they would appreciate what I had to offer. I also knew that as one who didn't even own a passport until this trip, I would certainly experience new food, languages, and other trappings of the local culture, especially since I was staying for three weeks. I was right in my expectations except for one crucial factor – the ratio of my teaching to my learning.

I consider myself an optimist. My determined adherence to the rosy picture in anything, or at a minimum my hope that tough times always change, has served me well in this short life. However my positive outlook is nothing in comparison to the people of Manila. This is a country that endures:

· An average of 20 typhoons each year
· Monsoons
· Volcanoes
· Earthquakes
· Mudslides
· Tsunamis
· Terrorism
· Extreme Poverty
· Unemployment
· Government Corruption
· Political Unrest

Suffice to say these folks have a lot to be unhappy about.

But they're not. While I was there, a very large catastrophic typhoon hit the island where I was staying. I was very safe in my hotel in a part of the city that had been built up high from the marshes of its origin. While I slept, just miles from my safe haven people were losing their homes to rivers of mud and water. Whole communities, particularly the slums, were washed away by the swollen river that bisects the city. A shopping mall where I had bargained for faux designer wares was now under 16 feet of water. The images from my television (remember, I was in a luxury hotel with a generator) were horrific.

And yet everyone I met who lost everything simply said, "Yes, but I did not lose my life." A friend, an EMT with the Red Cross, had mud and water flowing through her house, and yet her father told her to "Go out and save lives. We'll handle saving our home." This spirit was everywhere. It humbled and inspired me to learn to appreciate the life that God gave me.

When I have said that before, that I appreciate the life that God gave me, I have always thought of it in the sense of the lifestyle and its blessings that were given, not simply the fact that I am alive in this amazing world. When your expectations are brought down to that level, that you are grateful even to be on this planet, well heck, everything is a blessing, even typhoons and volcanoes. What joy to live in that way.

I wish I could say that I came home completely transfigured and transformed, that I have never again taken for granted those blessings given to me, including life on this planet. But I haven't. I still don't come anywhere near to having the incredible life view of the people of Manila. But I do have hope. And here's where you come in. As you leave your home every morning, to begin your day in the world, please say a prayer of thanks, something like what I think below:

Heavenly Creator
All things come from you
Even the breath in this body
Help me to remember this
So that in everything I encounter
I can give you thanks
And truly believe it is a blessing

And my last wish for you is the wish I leave with everyone – peace. You are a great blessing in this young life of mine.

All Grown Up

2009-12-01T20:53:00.002-06:00

Well my dear sweet girl, you're 18. Wow. And today I watched you going through your day - school, work, dance - nothing special of a day, and yet everything is special about it.

There are so many emotions flowing through me today I've either been mute, doing my best to hold back tears, or I've been manically babbling anything just to watch you smile. There's so many things you're going to experience and learn, regret and mourn. We've put in everything we could, all we've had to give, to help prepare you for the wonderful ride of adult life. You've got what you need to get through, and when you don't believe you do I know you'll come back to us to make us feel needed again.

I may not be your mother, but you are definitely my child. We are joined by love, and share an experiential bond that more than makes up for a lack of common DNA. I've been hopelessly and unconditionally in love with you from the moment I met you, and I always will be.

Happy Birthday, Sweet Pea. I'm so loving being a part of your story.

11 Years

2009-10-27T14:16:00.003-05:00

Dear Son:

It is so incredible to me that 11 years has passed since I first heard your voice, screaming and wailing your anger at having to enter this world. You've reached the age where you can know what you're getting and it's still fun, where Halloween is supposed to be scary instead of cute. Now more often than not I can see in your face the man you are going to become, and I love it even more than the little boy I saw yesterday. I want so much to keep you close, and young; and I know my life will be even better if I don't. My life certainly has been transformed simply by your presence.

Happy Birthday Matt. I hope I enjoy many more of them.

He's Ready

2009-08-21T09:34:00.002-05:00

Although my son has said repeatedly that he is not ready for school, meet the teacher begins at 11 am, and he was dressed and ready to go by 8.

I love re-living childhood with my son.

Chaotic thoughts because nothing is truly random...or not.

2009-08-04T16:10:00.006-05:00

Another Proud Parenting Moment:

Matt and I were driving around a while back, listening to the radio on a classic rock station. All of a sudden an intro came on, and as I was thinking, "I have heard that in a long time, what IS that?" Matt screamed, "WAR PIGS!" And he was right.

That's my baby...

Something I am not sure I'm comfortable with...

I was driving back to Plano from San Antonio late yesterday, and saw this sign in front of a church.

This one gave me enough stuff to think about to get me through the 20 mph traffic going on at the time. I know fast food is really bad for my body, but very tempting, but what about fast worship? Is God happy for whatever time I carve out for him, or is it more like my first reaction, than there ought to be a minimum amount of "slow down and listen for God" that provides the peace you need to get through life? I'll admit that my initial reaction was to reject that last thought, but only because I sounded so judgemental and intolerant, and I hate that.

Of course I don't have any answers, only a reaction and questions. There are certainly days where I wish my church service were just a little shorter.

He Knows Me Well

Recently Ken was looking over the upcoming Nissan 0% emissions car:

http://www.nissanusa.com/leaf-electric-car/

as we were checking it out, I commented that if they could make one that fit at least 4 kids and 2 adults, it would be the perfect car for me. I travel between 25 and 50 miles a week, all within a 5 mile radius of my home. Matt's immediate response?

"Mom, you're a hermit."

He's right.

Last photos of the Patio

2009-07-25T22:42:00.004-05:00

Okay, the furniture is purchased, and Ken and I have finished arguing over the placement. We've got trumpet vine planted that will (hopefully) block the view of the neighbor's back yard. We LOVE it. I eat breakfast there every morning, and spend some time there every evening.

Here's the "sitting" area - the "living room." We do still need a coffee table or something.

Here's the "dining room."

And here's a view of everything, including the cozy little 2-person area.

And this - Oreo - he LOVES the grass.

Stepparenthood: Part II

2009-06-29T15:40:00.002-05:00

My stepdaughter recently handed me a list of songs, ones that she'd like to have to play in her car. The list includes "Hotel California" by the Eagles, "Brown Eyed Girl" by Van Morrison and "Free Fallin'" by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers.

Is it wrong that this is one of my most prideful moments as a stepparent? It is, because I know without a doubt that even if she doesn't remember it, she first heard these songs from me.

Daily Prayer

2009-06-23T14:03:00.009-05:00

by E. E. Cummings

i thank You God for most this amazing
day:for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky;and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes

(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun's birthday;this is the birth
day of life and of love and wings:and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any--lifted from the no
of all nothing--human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)

Stepparenthood: Happy Father's Day, Charlie!

2009-06-12T15:11:00.005-05:00

I'm a step, on both ends. For most of my life, I have been raised by a stepfather, a full-time almost-Dad-but-not-my-Dad. 25 years later I became a stepmother, and have been for the past 14 years. I have never had a job that generated more guilty "what ifs" than this one. I say guilty because I have always been so very happy that my stepdaughter came into my life, and feel like she changed it for the better. But sometimes... it's just easier to imagine my life being different, that I could go on without her, than it is with my son.

This post is a day late because I've struggled with making my point without sounding bitter about my life as a stepmom. I'm not, although I do have bitter moments. I also need to mention that my mother became an instant stepmother too, and in many ways her job was way more difficult than mine or my stepdad's. But this is about one aspect of this thankless job, which applies to my Dad more than Mom: money.

My stepdad had four children when he married my mom. Two were in college, two in high school. And then he married us - three more mouths to feed, clothe, and house. He made light of it, and I want to say that he accepted that responsibility happily, but regardless of his attitude about it, he took us in and took care of us. We never wanted for anything important to us - cheerleading, music, trips, etc., and more importantly - braces, medical insurance, college - those things that even the wealthiest middle class struggle with. As he should have been thinking about his lifestyle after retirement, what he was going to do to enjoy the fruits of his long labor, he was paying for a whole new family of children. I think of this every time I see how much money from my paycheck goes to health insurance, or every time I write a check for dance class tuition. It's worth every penny-to know I have provided for my children, and to see the joy my daughter's face when she dances - these are the things that will carry me when I need to work just a few more years before I can retire the way I'd like.

My Dad, Charlie, was not my father, but he took responsibility for me anyway. And even if that were the only way he's shown his love for me, I am blessed to have him as a father. Thanks Charlie - you're a real peach of a Dad.

The finished product (without furniture)

2009-06-06T15:04:00.003-05:00

Okay, it's finished, including laying the new St. Augustine grass.

Ignore the makeshift sprinkler for the new grass.

This is the view from that blue chair you see.

The dog likes the patio too.

See the new grass? Ordered off the Internet!

This is going to be a flower garden. Ken set the stones vertically to make a border.

Almost Finished

2009-05-22T15:39:00.003-05:00

Okay, the patio is almost finished.

This view is from the back yard, toward the back door. See that window on the left? One day, when we save money again, we'll put a french door there similar to the one you see way back in the back. That way you can walk directly from the game room out to the patio. Right now you can walk out the back door, down a small sidewalk, and immediately you're on the patio - it extends around the side of the house a bit.

Here's a view from outside the fence (They took off a panel so they could have better access to the back yard).

This sucker is HUGE. Takes up almost all of our back yard. It is so cool. Now I gotta go look at patio furniture, although we won't be able to afford any for a while. Perhaps I'll get started with a few pretty pots with plants...

What's going on...

2009-05-20T10:57:00.003-05:00

at my house. We've got an extremely sloped back yard. Instead of watching our yard slowly move downhill, we decided to install a wall and a stone patio:

When it's finished and clean it will take up most of the back yard and will be a color very similar to the brick on our house. When we started this, I was indifferent. Now I'm getting excited. The grill will be against that far side, and we'll have a couple of tables and other patio furniture. A brand new pecan tree is over to your left - that will take a while to be shade, so we'll probably have an umbrella for a while.

Anyway, I can't wait to have a party on the patio.

Why? The Sequel

2009-05-07T17:44:00.000-05:00

And why is it that she has 30 minutes to talk to her friends and watch TV, but doesn't have 15 minutes to walk the dog or empty the dishwasher? This overworked and very frustrated mom just wants to know...

Why?

2009-05-07T17:08:00.001-05:00

Why is it okay for my teenager to be rude and prickly, but it's not okay for me to be that way? Just asking - already know there is no answer, but it's my whine for the day...

The Uncles (and Aunts) have it

2009-03-23T14:18:00.008-05:00

My son had the vacation of a lifetime. And of course I did too. I wish my daughter had a great time as well, but she wasn't with us...

Catching fish....

Driving the Mule in the mud... And hiking in various natural and human-altered natural environments:

Now she did get to see the dolphins with us, but I haven't received permission to use those photos. Note the two fins just behind the jet ski.

Because of his aunts and uncles, he had plenty of things to talk about and a witness to his fish that got away.

He was spooked by a glow stick monster in a raccoon trap (and later caught a raccoon),
almost had a wreck on the Mule (and learned about the pleasures of mud hogging),
discovered that dolphins like to play pranks on humans,
and that the water is really too cold in March in Texas.

Basically he had FUN. I hope he remembers when he has to clean his room.

More Blessed Life

2009-02-24T11:04:00.004-06:00

Last week I posted a note in Facebook that I was sweeping my house looking for a diamond earring. I finally found it, in a very strange place. It was hiding underneath a jet in my jacuzzi tub. So as I was celebrating I thought about posting in Facebook that I had found the earring. However I got to thinking about it... "I found my diamond earring in my jacuzzi tub" just sounds so... pretentious? I know that those who read my blog know that I'm pretty far away from pretentious, and that you couldn't call me rich by any means, but it sure does look kinda strange. I guess the best thing to say is I am truly blessed with some neat things like diamond earrings and a jacuzzi tub...

Happy Hearts Day

2009-02-14T12:25:00.003-06:00

Wake up 6:30 to the sound of hubs blowing his nose in the shower. Tell husband Happy Valentine's Day and go back to sleep. Take a 5 minute shower because I fell asleep. Check email and discover my client exec wants me to call her at home asap. Call client exec-the difficult project will finally be over. Tell daughter you'll take her to Starbucks. Take daughter to babysit at church, tell church leaders you'll be "1/2 hour late" for the Elder training. Miss Elder training completely as you take the next 2 hours finishing the project from down under.

Do the "I'm DOOOONNNEEE" dance as I run out the door to pick up daughter. Apologize to leaders as I explain that this job was supposed to be completed yesterday. Take daughter home, then to work. While home, son reminds you that it's the neighbor boy's birthday party, NOW. Dig a sufficiently cool game out of the hall closet, one that is unopened and ready to wrap. Wrap present in gift bag and hand to son as he runs out the door. Take 10 seconds to say thank you for the wisdom to buy a present just to have on hand. Take daughter to work. Come home, realize there's no time to run to grocery store for ingredients for baked spaghetti (coming up).

Find son's Cub Scout shirt, and clean pants to go with it. Go get son to prepare for his Cub Scouts Blue & Gold reception.

On deck for the rest of the day:

Blue & Gold reception
baked spaghetti ingredients
make baked spaghetti; take to church
Church for dinner theatre preparation
pick up daughter from work
daughter changes
back to church
finish dinner preparations
Dinner Theatre at church

I'll keep you posted as the day progresses. I'm interested in looking back at what I managed to accomplish and what just didn't get enough time or attention. And I wonder why I'm so tired at night...

No Loss of Hope

2008-12-28T22:42:00.004-06:00

Probably because my formative years were in the 60s, I have always embraced the hippie, peacenik, flower-child lifestyle. Not the acid dropping, no bathing, free love part, but the peace, not war, love the one you're with part.

That's why I've always taken to heart the words of Isaiah, who I think gives us the best message of hope and peace of any of the biblical prophets. One of my favorite passages is: "and they shall beat their swords into plowshares, and their spears into pruninghooks: nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war any more"

We always read this passage and others during Advent, part of the reason why it's one of my favorite liturgical seasons. To me Advent is about more than the coming of Christ. It's about hope and good plans for the future.

So that's why I've kinda struggled this year. The part that says "neither shall they learn war any more." Well, I've always taken that really to heart, and have tried very carefully not to teach my son war. We don't buy toy guns, we don't play war-type games, and even when dealing with the neighborhood bully our message has been one of peace and forgiveness.

Oh, how silly I've been, thinking I could keep my son from learning and playing war. First it was the cap gun a friend gave him. Now apparently all the neighborhood boys have a shoot-em-up game they play, and they call it war.

Now I'm sure if I made a huge deal about it, my son would either stop playing or at least he'd be sneakier about it. But the damage is already done - he's already learned war. I've been mourning that loss of innocence - not his, but mine. I believed that war and conflict was more a matter of nurture, that if everyone just worked as hard as they could at keeping it away from our youth, we'd be one step closer to peace for everyone. Now I wonder if that's true - could conflict and the decision to fight be an ingrained part of our human condition?

Of course I titled this post "No Loss of Hope" so I guess I should get around to telling you that I haven't given up hope, I still think my son can embrace peace, and I am confident that HIS children might not learn war. I suppose that's what Advent is all about - keeping the hope and faith that Isaiah wasn't just another clueless flower child - that there is always a promise of peace and love, and it's just around the next generation.

Go Peace! Go Love! Go GOD!

Uncle James is Cool

2008-12-14T20:34:00.003-06:00

My sister was in town this weekend, and yesterday her husband took the kids out for a day of fun-miniature golf, video games, etc.-leaving just the sisters alone for a day of shopping. It was the best Christmas gift I could have, and I wound up with this:

I love my family-have I mentioned that? Looks like they're having a great time.

Advice for the Boy Scouts of America

2008-12-11T16:34:00.006-06:00

Dear Boy Scouts:
Just a word of advice for your next round of guidebook development, particularly for Webelos I. Under the Science requirements, you post Bernoulli's principle, which states:

The pressure of a moving gas decreases as its speed
increases.

While scientifically and historically accurate, it is NOT helpful to place this statement in a book targeted for 9 and 10 year old boys. The resulting jokes, comments, body sounds, and associated mayhem renders any attempt at serious discussion completely useless.

So much for my carefully planned and scheduled Cub Scout Den meeting. We'll try again in January.

Sincerely,

A frustrated (and slightly amused) Den Mom

Autumn in Texas

2008-12-09T11:18:00.007-06:00

So here in Texas, we have autumn about a week before we have our week of winter. Of course, this is interspersed by spring and summer, depending on the day. This morning it will be 70 degrees, and by this afternoon it will be in the low 40s. I wanted to share with you the lovely tree in my yard, this wonderful autumn week. Please pardon the blurriness, I don't always have the right settings on the camera, and I'm terrible about checking.

This is my front yard, with the nice oak tree. It's still small, but it's growing nicely. Notice my neighbor's tree is already bare - you don't get the instant, all-at-once change like you do up north. At the time I took this photo, several trees in my neighborhood were still green.

Now this is what I do enjoy about fall in Texas - the sunsets can be beautiful. Of course they're always beautiful, but to me there's something about the quality of light in the fall.

While I know that the seasons in Texas are somewhat erratic, I don't think I could be happy living anywhere else.

How about you? Do you love the seasons where you live?

A Long and Interesting Day

2008-12-03T21:50:00.002-06:00

Kid #2 woke me up at 6 am this morning, complaining of a stomachache. Ten hours later, we're home, after a doctor's appointment, an ER visit, X-rays, a CT scan, a shot of morphine, and a whole lot of not knowing. The good news is he's going to be fine, and it's not appendicitis. The only bad news is we had to go through all that to find that out. But the bad news really isn't so bad, because I also had some incredible experiences along the way.

My son is an amazingly calm and resilient person. We were in a pediatric ER, so we were surrounded by very scared, screaming, understandably difficult kids. He was in pain, but he kept his humor, he was accomodating, and his only real frustration was the amount of time it took to find out the results - boredom was the enemy, not the medical establishment. He even took the time to comment on how nice and attentive all the hospital staff were.
I was more level headed than I thought I would be. This is the first ER trip with my son. I knew we'd have at least one or two of those trips in his lifetime, and I figured I'd be pretty nervous and upset by the experience. I wasn't. We were in very professional and intelligent hands, and other than a wish to make the pain go away, I was pretty okay with the whole thing.
I am blessed to have health insurance. If I really needed a reason to keep the great job I have, that would be it. I could focus on my child without worrying about how I was going to pay the bill.
The healthcare system may be broken, but at least in the little microcosm of today's experience it's still a pretty good system. The doctors were all reassuring, communicative, competent and experienced. The other hospital staff were fantastic, and went out of their way to make my son comfortable and calm. The entire system was digital-seeing X-rays instantly on a computer was fascinating and gave me hope for the future of medicine. The delays in treatment were because of Kid #2's body, not the system, e.g., we had to wait for the nasty stuff he had to drink to make its way through his body before the CT scan could be performed.
God watches over me and my own. I am thankful that He has never given me more than I could handle, as long as I had faith that He was in control.

Anyway, while it was an ordeal, it's now over and life is still good.

The Calendar

2008-11-18T07:53:00.003-06:00

Last night I tried something new. While everyone was at dinner, I tried to begin a conversation on the various things going on this week. I guess the best word to describe the resulting conversation was "apathy." Everyone was far more interested in discussing Kid #2's addiction to barbecue sauce.

Then it hit me. One of those "Duh" moments. They weren't interested because they have no clue what is happening this week. I keep the family calendar. It helps me keep up with car pools and money needs. If anyone asks, I tell them to go look at the calendar. I always thought that the family kept their own calendar - I buy them one every year, even two for Kid #1.

So I'm pondering this morning-am I doing them any favors by keeping up with their life? At least for the kids, should I make them keep up with it themselves, and let me know what their needs are? But who am I kidding-if I did that, it would require far too much nagging and "I told you so" than I'm up for.

How about you? Who keeps the family calendar? Or is everyone successful in minding their own lives?

What Have I Become?

2008-11-11T12:03:00.002-06:00

I've struggled against the idea of being a suburban soccer mom for quite some time. I know that I am one, however for some reason it just doesn't fit my self image.

Well, I caught myself getting very irritated at people today. Their sins? Driving against the flow of the car pool lane. I mean, do you folks have any clue that "no left turn" means NO LEFT TURN? Not even if it's just this once, and you give me that cute little "I'm an idiot" shrug - it still screws everything up!

Now - I've got that off my chest. Carry on with your day, and I'll go back to my self-denial. I'm a punk rocker... I'm a renegade.... I'm a rebel... I'm cool...

Blessed

2008-11-06T08:06:00.002-06:00

I am blessed.
I took my son to school this morning, and was able to turn off the radio when the traffic report came on-my commute is 15 feet to my home office.
My job is the kind of job where a project may be stressful, but it never lasts more than a couple of weeks.
I've had the same fantastic manager for over 7 years.
My son struggles with school, but only because he finds certain things boring and difficult to pay attention to, rather than just plain difficult. He's 10 years old but still wants to cuddle with his Mom.
My daughter has teenage drama going on around her but doesn't buy into it. She'd like to date but doesn't think it's the end of her life if she doesn't. She's into fashion, but not materialistic or shallow. She loves openly and deeply.
My husband cleans house and does laundry, and most of the time he doesn't complain.
I have friends who love me, family to watch over me, and for the first time in a long time I feel hopeful about my country.
Just felt like sharing that with you. It's a good, blessed life I have.

Conquering Fear

2008-10-27T22:22:00.004-05:00

For the last several months, I have gone to great lengths to avoid discussing politics. Just like religion, parenting, and personal appearance or style, I've always considered one's political opinions to be just that - a personal decision best demonstrated by action rather than words. But I can't be quiet any more, and hopefully you dear reader will show me the respect of reading the entire post so you may understand why.

For the first time in my 27 years of voting, I voted a straight party ticket, and I voted Democrat. Now, before anyone who disagrees with my decision starts the name calling, please keep reading. This time, again for the first time, I could not vote for any Republican not because of their economic policy, their views on abortion, gay marriage, or foreign policy. While I do disagree with Reps on a lot of these issues, I also have doubts about the efficacy of many of the proposals set forth by the Dems. I've never felt there was a perfect fit for me with any party or candidate-I've always voted for the "least worst" fit.

So, why did I vote straight Democrat? Because for the last eight years I have felt that I could not disagree with or even express doubts about any policy set forth by the Republicans without immediately being labeled as gay-loving, baby-killing, anti-American, or that I didn't care about supporting our troops. America has become a country of black and white, where you must stand at the extreme end of any issue; where you're either for or against, and there's no respect for the gray area, the middle ground, or even being undecided and willing to listen without immediate commitment to one side or the other.

As the events of the past year have unfolded, and particularly in the last couple of months, I have felt that in the public arena, the Republican Party has done nothing to court those people like me that believe that the problems we face in America and in the world are too complex to have simple answers, that the only way they can be resolved is through discussion and compromise. But I've been afraid to admit that I was uneasy about Iraq, that I didn't believe that the rich would spend their wealth on the middle class, that I feel very strongly that government has no business dictating a moral issue such as abortion, or that I think it's hypocritical to condemn marriage between two people of the same gender while at the same time committing adultery against one's wife or husband.

In the last two weeks I have experienced occasions where, without any discussion, friends and acquaintances have implied that by having the opinions I do (or by not having the opinions they do) I am anti-family, that God will not let me into Heaven, and that my views will result in more terrorist attacks against America.

One particular reason why Obama appeals to me is he seems unafraid to admit he doesn't know if his plans will work, only that what we have now isn't working. He's willing to ask us to give his policies a chance, but I'm also confident that he'd be willing to consider something else if what we try doesn't fly. In all the footage I see and all the information I read, I have yet to see Obama call McCain anything worse than George Bush. I certainly have not seen or read of him implying he's a terrorist, racist, or liar-all labels I've heard come from either McCain or Palin. I feel like he's more willing to try to talk to our enemies before going to war against them; that if I had a conversation with him my opinions and ideas would be respected and considered without labeling or stereotyping. I know he's going to ask me to make sacrifices, but that he's also going to ask me to make them in the interest of long-term change for the better. I also feel very confident that if something doesn't work, he's going to admit it and work to fix it instead of telling me that everything is fine. That, my friends, is honest. And I'd much rather have a leader that admits he doesn't have all the answers than one who tells me that God is on his side and I'm not.

High Hopes and Old Times

2008-10-24T20:42:00.013-05:00

Pastor Ryan (see blogs I follow) just issued a challenge to post "old school" on my blog. Well, Ryan, my old school is at least 10 years older than you.

It was nice to go through my "memory" box and relive so many important times throughout my life. There was 2nd grade, when my goal in life was to become a waitress...apparently my mother had other plans for me, because she recently told me that she dashed those hopes fairly quickly by trying to make me understand that although waitressing was an honorable profession, I was most likely destined for other things, particularly a career that involved college.

Well, when i finally did go to college, I spent the first two years majoring in Skater Punk:

Note the cut off shorts. You can't take the country out of the girl.

I have other things to scan and post, like several great concert tickets, and other photos of me as I slowly turned into a college educated, stuffy looking urban professional, then a laid back suburban mom. But it's late, and I'm tired of fighting my cheap scanner.

Ryan, hope you like the post. You're always offering such interesting "assignments." Keep it up - you make me ponder my life in a good way.

She's Still the Coolest

2008-10-23T22:26:00.002-05:00

My little sister is really cool. Kid #2 has a birthday coming up, and today he received a Vans t-shirt and sweatshirt from her, in the mail. He thought it was the coolest present ever. Why doesn't he think it's cool when his father and I buy him clothes for his birthday? We even buy Vans and Volcom shirts, but we just don't have the style, apparently.

I'm envious, as I've always been. She's always been the cute one, has always known exactly what is hip and stylish (see, even the use of the words hip and stylish makes me a nerd). I've not really been jealous, just sometimes wish I had that gift.

I'm sure there's qualities I possess that she is envious of, it's funny how we always want something more. But just like my brother, the cool uncle, and his wife, the cool aunt, I love them dearly for taking the time to be cool for my son - he needs as much of their influence as he can get, lest the genetic influence take over and he becomes a geek.

Love ya Sis, thanks for making my kid's day.

Thanks, Gustav

2008-08-30T12:16:00.003-05:00

My fashion-savvy sister (see previous post) is coming to stay today, thanks to a rather unpredictable hurricane. I guess that's what makes family, saying "come on up" when they need a place to stay. I'm so looking forward to it - she's good for my soul, and she loves my kids as much as I do. I think the feeling's mutual with her - at least I know the part about her kids is true.

She has three kids, #1 is off at college so I won't see her. #2 is a reader, like me, so I always love to see her. #3 is, well, you can't not love Kid #3. He's just one of those kids that knows no strangers, that can see the hurt inside and love it all away.

Heck, I even like brother-in-law. Have I mentioned that I'm happy they're coming?

Sister Love

2008-08-17T22:07:00.002-05:00

I wish I was my sister.

Today my daughter, Kid #1 called me into the family room to show me a pair of jeans. Apparently my neice had given her a pair, and she was anxious to obtain another pair of the same brand. If she had bought them in the store, she would have blown quite a bit of her school clothes budget on a single pair of jeans, so she went surfing the web and found a pair that was almost 1/2 the department store price. Good for her!

I was a huge disappointment to Kid #1 because apparently I failed to express an appropriate level of excitement over these jeans. I mean, jeans are jeans, and aside from the obvious quality issues, I have never been able to understand paying much money for jeans. Never owned any Calvins back in my teenage years, still buy my jeans at discount stores. I don't judge anyone that does buy designer jeans, it's just that I just don't get it, it's not that big a deal to me.

Now here's the part about my sister. She gets it. She had the Calvins, and she bought those jeans originally for my neice - the ones that wound up on Kid #1's body - the perfect jeans. She fully understands paying more than $30 for a pair of jeans, and thinking that's a good deal. I want to get it. I want to understand. Just once I'd like to be able to make that connection with my daughter and to have genuine excitement over a pair of jeans. But I can't, no matter how hard I try, I just don't get it.

So Baby Sis, here you have it - I wish I were you. Enjoy the moment. Love, your big sister.

Fascinated

2008-08-16T11:09:00.002-05:00

I find myself fascinated by this site:

http://www.twanight.org/newTWAN/index.asp

Photos from around the world, at night. Many have been featured on another of my favorites:

http://antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov/apod/

NASA's Astronomy Picture of the Day.

Go check them out! I'm pretty sure you'll lose at least a couple of hours, just like I did (yet again) this morning.

This Scares Me

2008-08-04T11:00:00.002-05:00

http://www.mercurynews.com/ci_10080239?source=most_viewed

This story about researcher's houses being bombed by animal rights activists scares the peewaddle out of me. What are we coming to? Are they going to start bombing hospitals because they take advantage of the knowledge gained from animal research? Where does it end? This really freaks me out in so many ways.

Violence is never the answer, people. Call me a hippie peacenik if you want, but this is just plain wrong.

World-Class Nagging

2008-08-02T07:53:00.000-05:00

Can someone explain to me why it is necessary to tell a nine-year-old kid to pick up his room/feed his lizard/take his dog for a walk/etc. every single day? You don't have to tell me, I already know the answer, but for once, just once I'd like to have all the brain scientists in the world take a pause in their search for a cure for alzheimers or all those other neurological problems and find a way to implant a "habit" probe so that you can program a kid once and never have to nag again. I'm convinced that if someone figured that out, they'd win the Nobel prize and we'd have world peace.

Of course, this is exacerbated by Kid #2 reaching the "argument" age. Now when I tell him for the 3rd or 4th time to do something, and I say "do it now so I don't have to ask again" I get the argument "why do I have to do it at all?" Makes a woman want to take them back to the hospital and say "I need a trade-in for something more responsive."

Teenage(?) Angst

2008-08-02T07:23:00.001-05:00

Yesterday, I was having a sort of conversation with Kid #1, where she made a tearful admission that was one of those moments where I wish I could put life on pause until I could come up with something wise/witty/philosophical to say. In her teenage mood of desperation and despair, she told me that 1) she has no friends in the neighborhood like her brother where she can just go next door and hang out; and 2) she's desperately unhappy at home and our adult friend's house is the only place she can go to get away from us. There was also some frustration at Kid #2 because he was moping around the house that day complaining that there was no one to play with. Anybody catch the irony in that? Well, unfortunately I didn't until this morning...

So now that I've had sleep and I don't have a crying child in front of me to cloud my thinking, I want to tell her that:

1) relationships are what you make of them. You reap what you sow. The love you take is equal to the love you make, and all that rot. Her brother may have many friends who are just next door, however with the exception of yesterday he is usually the person who goes looking for his friends instead of lying around waiting for a friend to come to him. She has spent most of the summer doing nothing but in turn she has spent very little time making something happen. She has a driver's license. I let her use my car. Go find a friend to play with.

2) Happiness is a choice. There are so many people out there with nothing and no one and yet they are happy. No matter what her current situation, she has two options: pine away for what you don't have or count your blessings and be happy with what you do. Her father and I make many sacrifices in time and money to put her in a position to be happy; what she does with our sacrifice is entirely up to her.

The thing is, I can't really tell her these things because I ignore my friends and bemoan my lot in life all the time, at least to myself. I have a fantastic job with a wonderful manager and yet I long for a dream job where I can be a scientist, but without the long hours. The only reason I have a social life is because the same adult friend that Kid #1 sees as a sanctuary goes out of her way to make connections with all of us, and is always planning parties over at my house.

So I don't know what I'm gonna do with Kid #1 except wait for her to grow up and have kids of her own. Then I'll get to chuckle like my mother does - thanks Mom for putting up with your ennuitic (I made that word up, how descriptive is THAT?) child.

Almost Heaven

2008-08-01T10:31:00.000-05:00

Our vacation this year was in a "cabin" in the mountains of North Carolina. I put cabin in quotes, because it was a split level luxury cabin with high speed Internet, dish network TV, an XBox, foosball table, king sized beds, and enough bedrooms and bathrooms for everyone to spread out. In other words, it was heavenly for everyone.

Here's the view from the upper balcony. I've never spent this much time in the mountains before. I'd do it again in a heartbeat. There's something so very peaceful and calm about seeing a vista for miles, and hearing the birds singing.

Now the challenge for me was that even with this incredible view, and the multitude of things to go do and see, we still spent more time that I'd like watching TV and playing games. One afternoon we spent 2 hours watching a movie we had already seen before, at least twice. What's up with that? Are we so habituated to electronic stimulation, that the beauty of nature has no or little value as a form of entertainment? I don't know the answer, not trying to turn this post into a preachy diatribe, but I gotta wonder at myself and my family...

Time Warp

2008-07-25T21:27:00.000-05:00

So it's been only two weeks since our vacation in the mountains of North Carolina, but it might as well have been a century. It's funny how time can seem so speedy when you're enjoying yourself, but let a terrible thing like the death of someone close happen, and each day becomes an eon. I lost my sister two weeks ago, by her unfortunate choice, and I didn't have any chance to prepare for it. My grief is exacerbated by the fact that I was angry with her for being unkind to my mother, and so I had been avoiding contact with her lest I express that anger and cause a permanent rift. So now I guess that which I was avoiding is a reality-I can forgive, but I can't reconcile.

For the first week, time was ever plodding, a slow travel through this fog of shock and dismay. This past week, the second week, has been so very busy, and yet so very slow again. Earlier this week I realized that it has been several years since I've felt the psychic and physical pain of loss. I've come to believe that with our loved ones, we are physically linked, as if there are molecules or atoms which resonate together, regardless of the physical distance. When that person dies, our bodies are violated by the sudden loss of those molecules/atoms, and that loss becomes a physical black hole that we must become accustomed to. I've learned this process takes time, but this time I've grown antsy for it to dissipate sooner. I'm tired of my days taking so long. I long for complacency of life again, for the week to pass by too quickly.

I also want my vacation back. I want to be able to enjoy the memories without them being tainted by this funk. I want to be able to look at my photos without thinking about how I got the bad news while in the shower on the last day of my stay. I want to destroy that link that exists between my lovely, too quick time in nature and the rude, abrupt shock that brought me back into reality.

I'm sorry to bum out those people that read my blog. I feel like if I don't write this down, get it out, I can't move on and write about anything better. I'm hoping that time will speed up again when I do.

Is It Wrong?

2008-06-23T08:34:00.001-05:00

Yesterday my daughter had a friend over for the afternoon. I love this friend like my own, sometimes like her a LOT more than my own. But as is her habit, Kid #1 instantly became a different person, one that neither I nor her father particularly likes - demanding, self centered, and with an attitude and sassiness that makes you want to send her away for a while and keep her friend around to enjoy.

But in general I put up with it to a point, because I know that although she talks back more, and expects more from us in the way of money and entertainment, she also clears the dinner table without asking and performs numerous little acts of kindness and care that say to me "I know I'm being an immature pill, however I can't help it and so I'll say I'm sorry in a way that helps me save face."

Now before I leave you with the wrong impression, let me say that Kid #1 is a fantastic person, and all in all we have no problems with her. She's a dream of a child, and we're really blessed that she's a genuinely good kid. Every now and then she just acts her age. That's when we both have to remember that it could be a LOT worse - she could act her age all of the time, not just when she has a friend over.

So I wonder if it's wrong to allow her to treat us without respect, when her actions say otherwise, and in the end my kitchen gets cleaned up?

Already Wrinkled

2008-06-15T23:13:00.000-05:00

One morning a couple of weeks ago I got up early and dressed for church. As it is most mornings, I had a ton of little tasks to do and so I tried to get a few of those done before time to leave. At one point I looked down and to my slight dismay, my clothes were no longer pressed and nice for church. I thought to myself, "Shoot! Already wrinkled!" And then my second thought was "Oh well, it'll just match the body they're on - already wrinkled..."

That got me to thinking about bodies, and wrinkles, and I realized that this idea would make a great post, if I could put it together. I thought of my Grannie - now there was a woman who was already wrinkled. I remember her face with these deep creases around her brow, eyes, and cheeks, and where the face was smooth, it really wasn't - she had TONS of little tiny wrinkles, especially around her eyes and mouth.

Now my Grannie truly lived her life. I remember spending a summer with her when I was 19 and home from college. At the time she was enjoying "retirement" as a member of the City Council in the small town where she raised her kids. She wore me out with her busy-ness, and everything she chose to do with her time was done in service to others. She filled her days with countless tasks, both big and small, all designed to deepen her relationship with the people around her. And throughout her day, that wrinkled face grew more creased with laughter, and pain, and concern, and love, and all the many subtle and not so subtle ways that we communicate and connect with one another without a word being spoken.

So in thinking about my Grannie, I said to myself, "well I'll bet by the time she was my age she was already wrinkled too!" and instantly my old, tired, wrinkled body became not so old and tired, but those wrinkles became an honor, a testament to the work and service and love and care and all those connections that I have made and am making in my life. I'm proud that my tasks in life, that my busy-ness has made me already wrinkled, and I can only hope to become as wrinkled and creased as my Grannie.

Gotta be a scam!

2008-06-11T14:18:00.000-05:00

So Kid No. 1 had a little fender bender with Hubs' car last week - 2007 Nissan Versa, sweet car with great gas mileage. She learned her lessons the hard way: 1) don't drive too fast in an intersection and 2) keep your eyes in front when the car is moving.

But that's not the point of this post. The point is we had a car that admittedly was smashed in front, and the driver side quarter panel was pushed to the point that the door wouldn't open, and the air bag did deploy (thank goodness!) but there were no automotive fluids leaking, and the car was drivable - hubs moved it to a parking lot before we worked things out with the insurance.

So yesterday we find out that the total bill to fix the car was almost $7,800! Holy brake fluid Batman! That's OVER HALF THE STICKER PRICE OF THE CAR!

I'm in shock. I'm also in the wrong line of business. Hubs and I finally decided that they have to inflate the price to fix it so the insurance company will pay what it costs, and the insurance wants to have to pay a high price so they can justify their astronomical rates. I'm not usually a conspiracy theorist, but it sure is hard not to become one.

They've kicked the habit?

2008-06-11T10:53:00.000-05:00

So apparently the Hubs and Kid #1 ARE able to pace themselves on the Jelly Bellys...
However Kid #2 still has a jones for them, plus a whole lot of other stuff, because he just got a bad report card from the dentist.
Why is it so hard to convince kids that prevention is way better than the cure? And a lot less expensive?
Anyway, this really bites, because now I'm going to have to empty my house of all things yummy in order to stop enabling my cavity prone son.

MO drags me kicking and screaming

2008-05-26T15:49:00.000-05:00

So my good guyfriend MO has been bugging me to start a blog for ages, but as it is with all things techno and MO, I've blown him off. Then I discovered that my own mother reads blogs, and she told me that some of my e-mails to her are more funny than her favorites. So I read some of her favorites, and now they've become my favorites... anyway, I thought that perhaps I should start writing a blog, although I still won't admit that MO is right. I'm only doing this for Mom...

Of course now that I've decided to do this I can't think of a darn thing to say.

This afternoon we're expecting good friends to come over (his blog is one of my favorites) and as part of the food for our guests to enjoy I bought a collection of Jelly Belly jelly beans. However, I made the mistake of telling my daughter and the Hubs that they're in the house. I don't know why I do this - buy Jelly Bellys, and then get slightly miffed when Hubs and kid #1 eat them all. It's not like they can help it - last time I checked there was no rehab for jelly beans. Of course I can count on them to keep it a secret from kid #2, the only one in the house guaranteed to eat them faster than Dad and Sis.